First and foremost the first weekend of our show was pretty epic! The air in the theatre was struck by lightening weeks ago and still has not been fixed. So, as you can imagine there was a ton of sweating done by all. The show itself is tighter than it ever has been. WE are all making great discoveries every day and still digging deep in to our characters. There is always something new to be found and WE ARE GOING TO FIND IT.
Tonight at dinner it was mentioned in some fashion that the cast and the group of people that are closely associated with us have no qualms about talking about a person (in a joking manner) to each other’s faces. OR when we are talking about it away from them, we catalog this info and share it with them when we see them next…which will probably be in five minutes anyway. I have friendships that resemble this with some of my Montevallo friends too. These types of friendships just make my heart smile. When it’s just you and them you can say whatever you want, be ethically questionable and just have a kick-ass time. We aren’t afraid to call each other out on BS, and, personally I would want someone to call me out if I was out of line.
These friends are willing to back you up no matter what, fight for you outside your little community and laugh at you when you fall on your face in a crowded bar with too many lesbians in it. These friendships, these little rays of sunshine in my life are the ones that I want to never let go of. The mutual respect is unbreakable and the love is never waning.
I’ve come to realize however that the friendships that are bad for me plague everything. They crawl in to my brain and pick away at my emotions and eat away at my happiness. I’ll call these the “just for looks” friends. These are the friends who are nice to you when they see you and then tear you apart with their other friends behind your back…and DON’T tell you about it. These are the people that you may have wronged yourself, but you don’t really know how to fix it. These are the friends that hold grudges against you for reasons that you had no control over. These are the friends that it is just easier to get along with than end the friendship and cause WWIII. But, these are the friends that I shouldn’t have.
Al these things are avoidable with real, true friends. I can talk through any problem with “Sister Mary-Sue” (name changed to respect identity) and we have had our fair share of issues, but we’ve gotten through them with maturity and love. And Sister Mary-Sue knows I’ll still drag her drunk ass in to the house even after she slaps me across the face and tells me to leave her by the comfy tree.
This year I am not holding my self hostage any longer. I am going to drop the friendships that are harmful to my happiness. I’m going to make the rest of my college career and life beyond about doing what is right for me. I can no longer stand idly by while my “friends” treat me like a child and talk behind my back. I can longer stand for the bitchiness veiled as sarcasm and will no longer tolerate immaturity. It is time to grow up people and face the real world. Not everyone will be naiive enough to call you friends first.